Contentment by Tong Kitt Chan

Kitt Chan sharing with us what Contentment and Happiness means through Character First April 2015 Gathering.

"Today, I would like to share a story. Once upon a time, there was a girl who lived in a village. The little girl’s ambition was to be a kindergarten teacher. To her, it was not a difficult ambition compared to becoming a doctor or a lawyer. The majority of her classmates had applied for business or economics courses in university, but she applied for an early childhood course. True, it was not difficult to become a kindergarten teacher and after four years she graduated and soon she was working as a kindergarten teacher. She was very happy and contented doing what she had dreamed about for so long. However, the happiness did not last long. After a year of teaching, she found her university friends who had studied business and economics were able to buy cars or a house, but she was earning only a thousand plus and riding a motorbike. Her income was far less than her friends.

Then she started to think of ways to increase her income. What could she do? Finally, she got an answer- part time job.  The girl started to work part time. She earned hundreds by tutoring primary school student. She continued at her full time job teaching in a kindergarten from 8am to 4pm. After that, she traveled to another centre to teach primary school children. Before she went home, she went to two houses to give students home tuition. At night she had to prepare work for the next day’s lessons for her full time job.  She even taught children art on Saturday.  Definitely, her income increased. She was very happy and proud of herself.

Do you think the girl will be happy ever after? Why?

The answer is no. She felt unhappy again.

Hi, I am the girl. During that time, I worked 12 to 13 hours every day. I was happy to teach young children in the morning. But, I was stressed when teaching home tuition at night. I seldom met my student’s parents, but they were watching me teaching tuition through CCTV. The parents want academic excellence. Nobody cares about the curriculum and the age appropriateness of it. Nobody bothered about character building.  I sacrificed my time with family and friends, health and my passion because of money.  I was really struggling at that time. Should I let go my part time job? But how can I survive with the little pay? Why had I spend 4 years of my time and effort studying something that couldn’t even support my life? It was the first time I truly felt that it was not easy to be a kindergarten teacher. I wasn’t contented when I learned that my friends are earning more, I wasn’t contented even when I earned more with my tutoring.

In March 2012, my grandmother fell sick. I resigned and I stopped all my part time jobs. I spent few months with my grandmother in hospital before she passed away. It was priceless being with her. I learned a lot during those few months. Money can buy you medicine, but not health; money can buy you clock, but not time; money can buy you house; but not a home. Dear friends, are you contented with what you have? Are you contented with your life? I am happy for you if your answer is YES! If NO, we can learn together.

How to cultivate contentment? Do you know how to be happy? Or you are waiting for happiness to find you? Happiness is a journey, not a destination. Till today, I am still learning to be contented. I am learning to live in the present moment because the people who are the happiest with their lives are able to enjoy and embrace the present moment instead of being stuck on the past or obsessing over how the future will look like. I am learning to be grateful for what I have instead of focusing on the things that do not belong to me. I am learning to stop comparing myself to others. Stop thinking about how big my neighbour’s house is, how great my friend’s job is and how perfect my best friend’s boyfriend is. At the end of the day, I can’t change what other people are doing, and I will never get anywhere if I keep comparing myself to others. I am learning to appreciate all the little things. Be thankful for the air we breathe, the food on the table, the quiet home we live in, the sunshine that brightens up our day. Every little detail in our life counts.

Today, I am thankful and contented that I am still working in the early childhood work environment. It is okay although I am earning less than my business or economic friends. I feel grateful that my current salary is enough for me to pay my bills and eat whatever I want to eat. 

Dear friend, let’s treasure happiness together. Find a purpose in our life, simplify our life, take the time to connect with people, hang out with those who are contented with their lives, and most importantly love ourselves. Remember, true happiness does not depend on material conditions. Smile, it is free! Contentment is the key to happiness. Thank you."

Written by Tong Kitt Chan.